Mary Gridley (1818-1900)

             Mary Enos Gridley was born in Onondaga Hollow, Onondaga County, New York on March 18, 1818. When she was a child, her parents, William C. and Clarissa Barney Enos, moved the family to Indiana and Louisiana before settling in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in 1830. When Mary was only eighteen years old, she married General Asahel (pronounced ASH-el) Gridley, a man eight years her senior and who would later become known as the richest, and meanest, man in Central Illinois. Mary and Asahel met when Asahel came to Pittsburgh as a traveling land salesman (also known as a land speculator). Their wedding was held in Pittsburgh on March 22, 1836. Soon after the wedding, Mr. and Mrs. Gridley traveled back to Asahel’s home in Bloomington.

Asahel had come to Bloomington in 1831 from Casanovia, New York, five years before his marriage to Mary, with $1,500 in his pocket and a desire to build a fortune. He found his fortune in a tiny mud hole of 450 people but a good investment nevertheless, and soon he opened up his first business, a store selling goods to the local Native Americans.

But the small undeveloped frontier town of Bloomington shocked Mary, who was used to the comforts and conveniences of Eastern cities. Among the belongings she brought with her were a canary, a cane-bottomed chair, a baby carriage, a marble-topped table, a piano, and other things that had never existed in Bloomington before her arrival. She also brought her African-American maid along to serve as a companion and domestic helper, and this woman was the first African-American servant in McLean County. The Gridleys boarded with the James Allin family for the first year of their marriage. Then Asahel bought their house and remodeled it into a comfortable log cabin for his wife and baby daughter Juliette, who was born in 1837. However, Mary missed her family and home in Pittsburgh very much. “My home I left so gladly with my husband seemed a veritable haven of beauty when I recalled it to my mind’s eye” she was quoted to have said later in life.

            Things got even worse for the Gridley family in 1837. In the Land Panic of 1837, Asahel’s tenants and business clients were unable to pay back their debts, and Asahel went bankrupt along with almost everyone else. The Gridley family is reported to have survived by eating corn bread and the occasional strip of old bacon. Shortly thereafter, he was able to buy up his own bankrupted assets at a very low price by borrowing money from his brother. He was then able to collect both principal and interest on these bills, and went on to practically own most of the land and businesses in Bloomington.

             Asahel was involved in a variety of careers, including land speculator, local politician, and lawyer. In 1840, he was elected State Representative, then State Senator in 1850. While a senator, he was able to use his business connections to build a railroad through Bloomington, enabling McLean County to grow large and prosperous. He also founded the first local bank in 1853 and bought a gas works plant in 1867, making Bloomington the first Illinois city to light its streets at night. He also owned a plethora of businesses and 26 farms in addition to traveling the law circuits with Abraham Lincoln and David Davis in the 1840s. He developed a close personal relationship with Abraham Lincoln and may even have been partly responsible, along with Jesse Fell, for Lincoln’s nomination as the Republican candidate at the 1860 Presidential Convention in Chicago.

            Due to Asahel’s energy and stamina, as well as a shrewd mind for business, he was able to begin building a new home for the family in 1859.He was recognized as the first millionaire in McLean County, and his house reflected his wealth. This elegant mansion, called “The Oaks” (located at 310 E. Grove Street), was completed in 1860. Its walls were made of cream-colored bricks imported from Milwaukee and its interior was opulently decorated with fine tapestries, sculptures, and paintings brought back by the Gridleys on their many trips to Europe. A large Italian fountain stood on the front yard between the door and the house. The house was completed at a cost of $40,000 (which would be worth $1,028,992.56 today). It was the centerpiece of Bloomington elite society and the location of many extravagant gatherings throughout the Gridleys’ lives, including the weddings of the Gridley daughters, Juliette and Mary, both of whom were later divorced. However, many in Bloomington saw “The Oaks” as just another way that Mary Gridley was showing off her wealth and achievement, and many people began to resent Mary for it. It is said that Asahel once invited Abraham Lincoln to see “The Oaks” and proudly gave Lincoln a tour of its marvelously decorated interior. Lincoln replied by saying “Gridley, do you want everyone to hate you?”

Yet despite the Gridleys’ extensive wealth and social prestige, their marriage was not a particularly happy one. Although Asahel was very ambitious and charismatic, he was also known for his fierce temper. It is said that he would get drunk and stand on street corners yelling insults at other prominent members of Bloomington society. Lincoln defended him by saying that “if anyone else had said such things, he would be guilty of slander, but everybody knows that General Gridley talks that way all the time.”  

Although Lincoln proved to be a faithful friend to Asahel, the Gridleys found themselves more and more alienated by other society members (most notably David and Sarah Davis, who were bitter political and social rivals of the Gridleys), partially because of Asahel’s temper and partly because Mary’s conspicuous shows of wealth may have erected barriers between her and other, slightly less wealthy society members. Later in her life, Mary recounted that Judge David Davis and his wife Sarah had borrowed her cut-glass high stemmed champagne glasses—“not to use as receptacles for the effervescent beverage…but for vases of flowers to decorate their home in honor of guests.” This may have been a jab at the Davis’ in that she felt they were not as high class as the Gridleys. Yet other reports indicate that Mary was actually quite social. Her confidante was Maria Dawson Cheney Paist, a very friendly woman who Mary spoke kindly of in 1899. Maria, Mary, and other ladies of the time took it upon themselves to entertain the lawyers on the circuit when they stopped in Bloomington. However, Mary was never mentioned in the memoirs of Mrs. Paist, Sarah Withers, or Judith Bradner, all prominent society ladies at the time.

And Asahel’s temper was not limited to those in society. Mary was often the focus of that temper as well. It is said that he once chased Mary out of “The Oaks” on a snowy winter evening in only a nightgown after one of their arguments. Asahel’s schedule may also have been difficult for Mary to live with. During the time that Asahel was working as a circuit lawyer, his job required him to be in Springfield two days a week and Bloomington the other four. But he would have no problem leaving Springfield on his horse, riding a distance of 60 miles through the night, and arriving in Bloomington ready to start work the next morning. He did this twice a week.

Out of their ten children, only four (Juliette, Albert, Mary, and Edward) survived to adulthood. Although most of the children who did not survive died in infancy, their son Charley lived to be nine years old before fatally shooting himself with a toy gun given to him by Asahel. Charley later died of a lockjaw infection from the wound. Perhaps the psychological guilt of this incident affected Asahel deeply, for he was also reported as blaming Mary for smothering the five children who died in infancy with a pillow, as well as making other outlandish accusations.

But Mary was a strong-willed woman and found ways to get back at Asahel for his nasty temper. Asahel, being an ardent abolitionist and supporter of the Republican Party, went to introduce Lincoln at a rally held across town. After dropping him off in the carriage, Mary put a Douglas flag on her husband’s carriage and left to escort Lincoln’s rival, Stephan Douglas, to a Democratic rally. Mary is known to have preferred Lincoln over Douglas, so chances are that she did this to undermine her husband, which was a very brave and daring thing to do at the time. Judge David Davis is reported to have said “many men would not live another day with her after such an impropriety.”

            Asahel died on January 25, 1881 of exhaustion and a lung ailment aggravated by fighting a fire at his bank. Although he died in peace with his family around him, a family story claims that Mary refused to provide him with more warm clothing when his extremities began to get cold, saying that it would be too much effort for her to wash the extra clothing. His funeral was a lavish event held at “The Oaks,” with thousands in attendance. Yet Mary insisted that her husband’s casket be carried out the rear door instead of the front door because her “rugs had already taken enough punishment.” He was buried in Evergreen Cemetery.

            But after Asahel’s death, the surviving children became embroiled in a series of dramatic events that were salaciously displayed in the pages of The Daily Pantagraph in the same style as today’s tabloids. When his eldest daughter, Juliette, found out that her father’s will had left her only a fraction of the amount her siblings received, she was furious. Calling her father “the dictator of this city for 40 years,” she went on a verbal rampage, using rather vivid narrative to relate all kinds of unsavory (and probably falsified) things about her family. Juliette also said that that she felt the will was made while her father “was in a frenzied and excitable state,” and that those around her father were responsible for the creation of this unfair will. She then stormed into a lawyer’s office, contesting the will. The suit was dropped in 1883, and Juliette returned to Europe with her second husband, Count Ernest Schoenrock of Switzerland. The court ruled against her.

            Sadness struck Mary yet again in 1895 when her son Albert committed suicide. After marrying a divorced woman, Mrs. Elizabeth Temples (which was reprinted in the news and quite scandalous) and several failed business ventures, he moved his family to Batavia, Illinois—but tragedy followed them there as well. One of their children died in infancy while another was killed in an accident. Albert and Elizabeth had no other children. These combined tragedies and failures caused him to become an alcoholic, and while in New Orleans in 1895, he walked into a pawnshop, picked up a gun, and shot himself in the head.

            Six months after that, Mary’s other son Edward married Ora Walton in a lavish ceremony attended by top members of society. But right next to The Daily Pantagraph’s description of the festivities, there was an article announcing a lawsuit against Edward Gridley for “breach of promise.” Apparently, before marrying Ora, Edward had been engaged to a Miss Vina Farley, and had even given her a gold bracelet with a jewel inside. The jewel could only be unlocked on their wedding day, but Edward still had the key when he abandoned Vina to marry Ora. Vina Farley planned to sue him for damage to her reputation, but the suit never actually happened.

            Daughter Mary also divorced her husband, Frederick Bell, and lived with her mother until her mother’s death. They traveled around Europe several times. But after Mary Gridley died, Mary Bell decided to travel to Europe on her own and packed several trunks filled with gorgeous gowns to wear to European social balls. However, when the ship was unloading its cargo, Mary’s trunk fell into the water and all the gowns were ruined. This caused Mary to suffer a nervous breakdown, and she spent the next twenty years of her life in a sanitarium in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Finally, her doctor passed away and the new doctor allowed her to return to normal life. The rest of her life was rather ordinary, and she was remembered for being charming but slightly high-strung.

            After a long and tumultuous life, Mary Gridley died on October 1, 1900 in the Auditorium Hotel in Chicago of heart and kidney trouble. She had a large but simple funeral at St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church, where she had faithfully attended services her entire life. Her obituary in The Daily Pantagraph said that “her death removes one of the most prominent ladies of the city and there will be genuine sorrow in the hearts of all who knew her and appreciated her and her total worth” Mary Gridley was buried in Evergreen Cemetery next to her husband and children.